Sorry if I snapped at you 40 minutes ago. It was displaced anger.

At the end of the day I was So Very Angry that I could not articulate my frustration into anything but simple sentences. Simple sentences and curse words. Don't worry, the curse words came after school. Right before I hid in a corner so that I could not inflict my wicked witch furry on unsuspecting nice people.

I think I might have shocked some people, mainly the 20 little people who swarm around me like little bees. They often see my anger. A cold, calm anger about raising hands and sharing. I accompany that anger with a confused look of "Really? We are spending time for this? Especially since I know you know how to solve that problem." We laugh about that anger, we tease it out and sing songs about.

Today’s anger - that was something special. A hot, boiling anger of a disappointment and disgust. This anger does not come out often. It is scary and sharp. Full of bite. This anger is let down anger. As in, I gave you me heart and all you gave me was this pen, anger. Without realizing it, I have changed as a teacher, and my anger mirrors this change.

Naturally, I am cold and distant. I have enough friends, I have enough loved ones. School is business. However, in my joy of reading, writing, mathing, and historying, I have spilled some tightly sealed care. Something I tightly guard, because with care runs with the same crowd as disappointment and loss. Feelings my light personality do not enjoy. But I do care. I do care that my little bees enjoy learning, I do care that they feel confident in their abilities. I do care because I like to see them happy. My self worth and happiness has become intertwined with their self worth and happiness. I am not their queen bee; I am their mama bee.

So, my wee ones, I am sorry I let you down, but you let me down too. But if you are going to love me, you are going to have to love all the things about me. And I love you.

I Have a Dream

This morning I finally had a discussion with my students about Martin Luther King, Jr. and we watched the speech. We did a lightening share during our morning meeting about our dreams. Most shared some personal dreams for their futures, such as becoming a doctor, or an architect, or a five-star chef. A few had more basic dreams, something decent for lunch today and such. One student had a bigger dream. He said, "I dream that people will care about what is under the ice, as opposed to only what is on top of it."

I'm not actually certain what he meant. And he is not a student I expected such a grand dream from. It made for a very interesting morning meeting.

Poems Found around our Classroom

Warning

Risk
of
Electrical Shock
DO NOT OPEN


Always Within Reach

Tissue is always there when you need it,
popping up in all sorts of places to help you
through
life's
little
ups
and
downs
Kleenex is the
brand that families have been trusting for over
80 years for a soft, soothing, caring touch.


Writing Workshop

People
Must Be
Seated.

Have to be
Quietly
Writing.

You've got to
hear the
music.

Have
to
Think.

Silence.

Hear the
roar of
pencils.

People
whispering
ONLY.

Intern Guilt

It is 8:32 and I am all alone in my wintersession classroom. I feel slightly guilty about it - I had my wintersession intern take my class from the morning game. Slightly because I am still groggy from the morning, slightly because I feel that an intern should be teaching more then they should be watching.

Budding Scientists

Questions that have taken our science intersession class off on tangents:

• How do birds fly?
• Do penguins have hollow bones?
• Why do some birds run fast?
• Can an ostrich kill a lion with a kick?

• How is that potential energy?
• What does gravity have to do with energy?
• How much gravity is there on Jupiter?

• How can those weigh the same?
• Why is that balanced?

And my favorite, I don't get it! Followed by much effort to understand how something works.
All of this is from a one hour period this morning.