Easel Envy

Someone has the best easel in the whole world. It is the luxury car of easels, complete with magnets to hold big book pages, drawers for books, and little dishes for markers. The best part: the whole thing is magnetic. You heard me, the whole easel - frame and white board - are magnetic. I could make out with the easel right now I love it so much.

I have been a non-classroom teacher for a little over a month. Today, while stroking such a piece of art, I wished I was the main lady in the classroom once again.

Your Thoughts Needed

Yes I am in class. Yes the instructor is holding a discussion with the rest of the class. Yes I am off task. Almost. I am reading The Atlantic Monthly article about technology: http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200807/google

I am not finished with the article, but my need to share is greater then my need to understand. My ideas keep whizzing from classroom ramifications to my own reading process to standards.

Duh! Or Am I Missing Something?

Quotes from fifth grade writing samples:

• "It was the best first time camping trip I've ever had."
• "He is the best brother I have ever had plus my other brother."
• "Some day we'll be better than best friends."

Are these students writing something so deep that I'm not getting them?

7 Days and Counting.

The sick part of me - the part of me that has a viral rash spreading to her shoulders - cannot wait for the school year to be over. I am afraid that if I spend another month in my petri dish classroom that I will have a double ear infection, pink eye, and whooping cough. I wash my hands. I don't give hugs. I drink plenty of fluids. So how did I end up using about a months worth of sick days? I am still baffled by my weakened immune system, but need to take a nap to process so much thinking.

After my nap, if I took the time to process, I would probably discover something amazing like "But the students need to wash their hands too!" But instead, I will be reading articles, writing papers, grading tests, avoiding bubbling, sulking (re: rash and v-neck dress that will not debut tonight), and writing some more. Maybe, just maybe, the viral rash is less student related and more stress related.

Girly or Not?

These are the two texts one of my students had available for when she finished her state science test. Who knew the same child would be reading both of them at the same time? And, enjoying them both A LOT!

Testosterone Thursday

I teach elementary school. I don't expect to spend a lot of time with men during my workday. I don't see that as good or bad, just an observation of the realities.

Today, however, I found just the opposite to be true. By the end of the day I realized four different male teachers had been in my classroom working with students.

1. A university student who is observing one particular child for a case study as he works towards his teaching license.
2. A science graduate student who works with our school through an NSF fellowship.
3. A central office resource teacher.
4. Our technology specialist.

And the intern who has been working with us all semester was subbing in kindergarten today - his presence would have raised us to five. Astounding.

If you are interested in the perspectives of men in elementary school, check out this fun blog.

Quotes from 5th Graders

These are from a young man who always makes me smile:

• I'm trying to find a loophole in this project.
• You really like to inflict pain on children, don't you?
• It was highly amusing to watch you both try that. (In response to 2 teachers bowling.)
• You mean it's not an invitation, it's an obligation. (I'll be using this one in the future.)

During an explanation from the science graduate student who works with our class:
Student: "You use lots of big words."
Science grad student: "What do you want me to explain more?"
Student: "I don't know, you lost me at hello."

Up for a vacation?

Quotes from tourist advertisements for volcanoes:

Attractions:

• lava lamps
• free marshmallows
• hot dog roasting
• stadium for lava monster wrestling
• 5 eruptions every 24 hours
  
• we also have a church for funerals

Warnings:

• no souvenirs cause that's just wasting money before you die
• please say goodbye to loved ones before coming
• will be the last sight you'll ever see
• might want to write your will before coming

Lights! Lava! Explosions! Rocks and minerals forming everywhere! But, don't make it angry or else! You have to run for your lives!!!

Teacher Hallway Conversation

First Year Teacher: I'm not sure how to help them see this concept beyond the textbook.

Experienced Teacher: How about in this artwork they have on display in the hallway? The perspective is there and it's their own work.

FYT: Of course. Perfect. Thanks for the random math consultation.

(I love teaching in a school that can have 'random math consultations' happening in the hallway.)

From the Point of View of a 5th Grader

We spent a lot of today analyzing various artwork, considering the lines, colors, and shapes, thinking about the emotions conveyed in a painting or sculpture. The discussion was wonderful. Until the end...

Looking at this painting, Niagara Falls from the American Side, William James Bennett after John Robert Murray, published 1840, a fifth grader said, "It looks like a picture we could have taken in the 1970s or 1980s."

I had no response.

First of Many

If the class is about integrating technology and best practices, then why am I told what I will create, how I will create it, and the topic to research?

Grad school makes me crazy.

His Big Eyes said it all, but I had to make sure.

me: "Big Eyes, how was the Peer Mediation conference?"

BE: "WE HAD SODA!"

me: "Wow! What a treat! How was the conference?"

BE: "WE HAD SODA!!"

A little while later, during independent reading:

another student: "Hey, Big Eyes is back."

BE: "WE HAD SODA!!"

I should insert insightful comment here, but I am too busy thinking about the joys of soda at age 10.

Cleaning House

Things I accomplished while avoiding grade bubbling:

- Sanitized Bathroom.
- Mopped and Shined kitchen floor.
- Transformed dirty clothes to clean by going through the whole sorting and washing and drying and folding and putting away process.
- Sorted through shoes, dumped all finalists in closet.
- Moved clothes from floor to hanger.

Just WOW

My run not walk, loud or louder, back talking students won a lunch championship!

I am flabbergasted. And slightly alarmed that there might be a direct connection between their positive behavior and my multi-week sick leave.

Tears & Fears

A young man in my class came over to me sobbing with tears streaming down his face this afternoon, about fifteen minutes after they started writing.

(This must be read very slowly with many sobs in the middle.) "I can't think of anything to write about."

It should be noted that this assignment did not affect their grade in any way. To prepare for next week's state writing test, the students were given six prompts to choose from to do a practice essay. I said, numerous times, that my goal was for them to write to one prompt so that we could sit down together, just the two of us, to identify strengths and consider what they need to really remember next week. I tried really, really hard not to put any pressure on this.

None of that mattered to this student. I can't imagine what the actual test will do to him.

Science Experiment that Got Out of Hand

If you had been in our mod (our temporary building) yesterday you would probably have called the office with concerns about smoke and a burning smell. Most teachers on my hall did.

We've been studying states of matter (solid, liquid, gas) and how temperature affects them. The students wrote experiments to prove that increasing temperature will cause matter to go from solid to liquid to gas and decreasing temperature will do the opposite. I pushed my students to think about something else we could experiment with, besides water, to test this. They decided on marshmallows. So we put some water in a pan with a couple of marshmallows and melted them. We were all fascinated. Gradually we watched all of the water boil off. The students were able to figure out that if there was something left in the pan when all the water was gone then we would know that marshmallows don't become gas. So, this is what was left in the pan. We did talk about the fact that we couldn't get it any hotter to see if a hot enough temperature would cause it to become gas. Then we got interested in several other questions about marshmallows and began doing some research on the computer and smartboard. We left the pan on just to see what would happen. All of the sudden students got really excited and pointed over at the pan. It was bubbling up in a gooey mess and there was a lot of smoke. A couple of students ran over to open the windows (it was below freezing outside) and another opened our classroom door. I stood there waving the pan around trying to figure out how I would explain this to my administrators if we set of the smoke alarm and the whole school had to evacuate. We left the pan sitting in the room for the rest of the day (not on any heat, of course) and students kept stopping by to feel it and observe. I'm not sure what all they learned, but I'm sure they were asking questions, making observations, and behaving like scientists. Probably more than any other time this year.

And, it wasn't as bad as the HazMat visit last year.

A serious post, seriously.

A little bug has been tickling my ear. I think my technologically savvy classroom is missing some much needed curriculum.

My students know how to:
- use a search engine.
- go straight to the source, i.e. go to an art museum site when looking for specific works of art.
- identify the relative source of a site, and therefore discern the authority of the site, by the url address.
- title their discussion board comments so that their reader has a preview of their post.
- evaluate the usefulness of a website in terms of reading level.
- identify the best place to start when researching.

However, in the classroom, my students do this in a controlled environment. I limit their search engines to ones that meet my dirty test. There is an adult monitoring their computer use at all times. Most importantly, their computer time has a higher purpose. They are researching for a specific project, they are commenting on a content focused class discussion board, or they are exploring teacher picked websites. There is little wiggle room for play.

But what about at home? What about when there is no adult in the room? No teacher demanding content specific results? I have given them the skills to effectively use technology, why wouldn't they want to practice at home?

In my zeal for knowledge, I forgot to teach my students the most important lesson: safety. So, I currently enrolled my students into ATES 101: Stranger Danger and the Internet. The professor is a bit flakey and doesn't always have a plan, but it is better then nothing.

Delayed Opening with Hot Chocolate

In my haste to write the previous post, and thereby cleanse myself of some stress and guilt, I did not give proper credit for the brilliant hot chocolate idea. Organized Chaos was the genius from whom I got the idea. (Sadly, I'm not sure which exact post.)

I have to say that the process of making hot chocolate for the 17 students who are here today and all of us enjoying it as we read has done wonders for my insides.

What is my responsibility to my students?

We had a two hour delay this morning, which is typically a lovely thing. In fact, an hour into it I was still wishing they would close schools so that I could have a relaxing day at home with my daughters. Then things fell apart. The four year old and I could not do anything right by each other. There was screaming and slamming of doors. (For my personal shame, I'll not share who did what of that.) By the time I dropped them off with their babysitter I was a wreck. I drove to school in tears.

Having a two hour delay requires rethinking our schedule and plans for the day. As I was trying to do so, in the midst of feeling awful, I couldn't come up with anything I felt capable of doing. I wanted to just say to my students, "I'm having an awful day and I need you to get a book, get comfortable, and read." But my students deserve better from me. Not that reading is a bad use of their time in any way, but I can't just drop my teaching responsibilities because I'm having a bad day. That said, it takes a lot of energy and effort just to put on a happy face to greet my students when I feel like I do today, much less do any powerful instruction.

So, what is my responsibility? Should my students be completely unaware of issues I face? Should they know if I'm having a bad day? Does their age matter, older students being more able to deal with understanding their teacher's mood swings or such? Is it my job to teach my students well regardless?

As an aside, I've decided we are going to do some serious independent reading time today. I'm making hot chocolate for them and we'll curl up with bean bags, pillows, books, and our cups. But, after lunch it's back to serious learning.

Sorry if I snapped at you 40 minutes ago. It was displaced anger.

At the end of the day I was So Very Angry that I could not articulate my frustration into anything but simple sentences. Simple sentences and curse words. Don't worry, the curse words came after school. Right before I hid in a corner so that I could not inflict my wicked witch furry on unsuspecting nice people.

I think I might have shocked some people, mainly the 20 little people who swarm around me like little bees. They often see my anger. A cold, calm anger about raising hands and sharing. I accompany that anger with a confused look of "Really? We are spending time for this? Especially since I know you know how to solve that problem." We laugh about that anger, we tease it out and sing songs about.

Today’s anger - that was something special. A hot, boiling anger of a disappointment and disgust. This anger does not come out often. It is scary and sharp. Full of bite. This anger is let down anger. As in, I gave you me heart and all you gave me was this pen, anger. Without realizing it, I have changed as a teacher, and my anger mirrors this change.

Naturally, I am cold and distant. I have enough friends, I have enough loved ones. School is business. However, in my joy of reading, writing, mathing, and historying, I have spilled some tightly sealed care. Something I tightly guard, because with care runs with the same crowd as disappointment and loss. Feelings my light personality do not enjoy. But I do care. I do care that my little bees enjoy learning, I do care that they feel confident in their abilities. I do care because I like to see them happy. My self worth and happiness has become intertwined with their self worth and happiness. I am not their queen bee; I am their mama bee.

So, my wee ones, I am sorry I let you down, but you let me down too. But if you are going to love me, you are going to have to love all the things about me. And I love you.